Broken to Whole, Separation to Reunion (Mo Dao Zu Shi fanfic)
by FinalXFantasy91
Summary: Lan SiZhui dreams of his past, where chaos brought him a 'mother' and loss brings him a father. Looks in his present, he remembers nothing then everything. Smiles in his future; a family finally whole. (Some spoilers those who don't read or watch The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation. A one-shot of Lan SiZhui remembering. Mourns the loss of his childhood memories, and the future)


Before we begin, let me explain: This is a popular Chinese wuxia novel that is grabbing a lot of attention (or I am just behind in it), "The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation" or "Mo Dao Zu Shi". Some spoilers and some not. If you do not know who or what is going on, read the novel, look it up in wikia, watch the ChAnime (is that how you spell it???), etc. Please excuse the inaccuracy of the details to those who do know the series. Creativity is not a crime for fanfictions anyways.

BL is mentioned. So those don't like, I don't care. Love is love regardless of gender, and I find this series beautiful.

Setting is ancient China (for those who don't know).

As for where I have been for almost half of the year... umm, sorry?

Now begin!

(Disclaimer: An inspiration coming from other's art; notes from the novel; love for the anime; and desperate to give Lan SiZhui a happy family ending even when I can't read all the chapters yet. All deserve praise and can never be mine. They belong to those that create it, despite the tweaks I put into them.)

It was during the Da Fan Mountain's night hunt that Lan SiZhui recalled something from his missing memories. Memories that he had lost after a high fever when HanGuang-Jun (or his adoptive father as he would preferably call him) found him wounded in some unnamed ruins (though he believes that his adoptive father knows, just won't say).

It was brief with the appearance of the sound of soothing music coming from the makeshift flute Mo XuanYu had created as he fled with the Ghost General not far behind; a memory of a man dressed in all black and red smiling at him brightly despite the deepest sadness in his eyes and the blazing inferno around them.

For some reason, a tear ran down his cheek before he caught himself.

The second time was at the Cloud Recesses when he was tasked to take care of the rabbits. He couldn't help but frown in disapproval when he saw Mo XuanYu (taken in, courtesy of HanGuang-Jun), catching the rabbits. In spite of that, he found his heart pang forlornly, feeling a sense a familiarity of doing the same.

That night, he dreamt sitting on the shoulders of the same black-robed man as they chased some rabbits on the side of the road, a windmill on his hand blowing in the wind.

The third time, was at Yi City; with the porridge of death (courtesy of Jin Ling). Another jolt of a memory came with the familiar taste of spices fill his pallet.

Again, he dreamt of the missing memory as well as the conversation he and the black-robed man shared.

"A-Yuan, you don't have to finish it if you can't handle it," the man said, despite seeming amused.

"No! If Mama can do it, then I can as well!" but he could feel his face burning flush as he shoved another spoonful into his mouth.

"Hahaha," the laughter brought a sense of self-pride at being able to get a laugh from the black-robed man. Said man shuffled his locks. "But A-Yuan, you shouldn't call me Mama. I cannot be your parent."

Not liking the melancholy of the man's expression, he shook his head fiercely declaring, "Mama, will be mama! You found me, and took care of me! So you are mama! Also, mama is pretty!"

Surprise then turned to tender happiness. The man then placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Thank you, A-Yuan."

He woke up with tears, sorrow in his heart of not remembering the man.

Days followed after the incident with Yi City and returning back to the Cloud Recesses. Slowly, memories kept returning with every passing day and night, until finally, his curiosity reached its peak when he dreamt HanGuang-Jun in the recalling memories, that it was time to go to the one other person he can go to for an explanation.

"ZeWu-Jun," Lan SiZhui greeted upon entering the Library Pavilion the Sect leader was studying in.

The warmer one of the Twin Jades looked up from his script and smiled at his adopted nephew, faltering a bit when he saw a slight dark shadow under his eyes. "A-Yuan, no need to be so formal. Come in and sit, enjoy the tea with me."

"Thank you, Uncle," The young disciple sat as he took the placed teacup in front of him.

"So tell me," Lan XiChen started after moments of silence. "What brings you to meet with me this pleasant afternoon? Is something bothering you?"

Lan SiZhui didn't hold back, telling him about his memories, and seeing a man in black and red robes taking care of him, and there was even some with his adopted brother. The GusuLan Sect Leader didn't interrupt, but his expression of sorrow did appear as he continued.

When finished, Lan XiChen sipped at his tea, looking out of the pavilion with a distant look. A sigh passed his lips moments later.

"Do you remember what your name was previously, Lan SiZhui?" he looked at him, a bit harder than usual. The boy shook his head.

"I should not really say this until A-Zhan returns, but you deserve to know if your memories are coming back. Just remember to keep it to yourself until you are ready to tell, understood?"

"...Yes, Uncle."

"Your previous name was... Wen Yuan," the boy's eyes widened but didn't say anything as he continued. "You were only 3 years old when my brother had found you two days after the siege of the Burial Mountain. The only reason you were alive was that you were being protected by some of the YiLing Patriarch's fierce corpses."

"So the man in black I have been dreaming is..." he trailed off.

Lan XiChen nodded his head in confirmation. "No doubt, it would be Wei WuXian."

"But how—?" Lan SiZhui began only to be stopped by Lan XiChen raising his hand, knowing what questions held the boy.

"Do not say that the man was not kind. I had met the man before his rise of being the YiLing Patriarch. He was the most friendliest and brightest amongst his peers," Lan XiChen closed his eyes, continuing with sorrow, reminisce of the peaceful times. "It was after the destruction of Lotus Pier of Yunmeng and him sending off his Heart Brother that we all lost contact with him. We had arrived at the scene where he was last seen, however, we only found his bell and a trail of blood. We believed that the QishanWen Sect had killed him and took his corpse." 'A-Zhan's despair was clear on his face as his hand shook around the bell.'

"When QishanWen Sect was at the peak of culling a lot of Cultivating Sects, he reappeared and saved us all. However... he had changed ... He alone wrecked destruction upon them with his Fierce Corpse Army, all with a cold smile upon his face."

Lan SiZhui bit his lips, looking down with un-ushered tears. It was hard to swallow, as the man he had been dreaming, showing the bright smile and giving him warmth and kindness, is, in fact, the YiLing Patriarch. And the cause he became such a cruel man was due to what his... no, the QishanWen Sect had done.

"I-I will be going now, Uncle," he bowed as he got up to leave.

"A-Yuan," the clan leader called out, stopping him at the door. "Do not deny those memories. If what you had told me is right, then Wei WuXian still held his humanity and continued to do so until his death. How you feel after recollecting them, evidently points to that."

"As for who you are. You no longer hold relation to the QishanWen Sect. Wen Yuan is dead and is now replaced as Lan SiZhui, son of both Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian. Do not forget that."

Not trusting his voice, he turned and bowed again to rush for his own room, just within the limits of the rules of the GusuLan Sect.

Once inside, he activated the silencing seals around his room. Looking towards his dresser, his hand reached out for the worn pinwheel he now remembered given to him as a child by his mother.

Taking it into his hand, he then cried, crying his crushing heart out then and there on the floor. For the first time, he can mourn what he had actually lost.

He cried for his mother that raised him so caringly despite everyone against him. He cried for his younger self who forgot those precious memories he had. And he cried for his father, who he knew, loved the YiLing Patriarch to even rush to the Burial Mound; only to meet with flames, ruins and an amnesiac child who once shared a brief reprieve of the raging world.

Many days had passed since Lan SiZhui broke down in tears. Lan QiRen and Lan Jingyi watched worriedly at him, recalling seeing him in an absolute mess upon finding him in his quarters the day after he mourned his loss of precious moments.

Lan QiRen was informed of what had happened by Lan Huan. He was bitter at being kept in the dark of whom his adoptive great-nephew had grown up with before; having never been informed by Lan WangJi how he had come across the child. But he was sympathetic in understanding that the child had loved his former wild-disciple. On another note, he now knows where those crazy stunts Lan SiZhui had done has a child, were coming from.

Lan Jingyi has been Lan SiZhui's best friend since he was brought to the Cloud Recesses. Never had he seen him in such disarray even as a child. When he had asked what had happened to cause him such distress, Lan SiZhui told him nothing of the cause and went about the day as he did before. Obvious to him, he knew it must be something, however, he was not one to pry and decided to just be by his friend's side in support.

Lan SiZhui returned to mostly normal as the days went, with fewer disjointed memories of his childhood care under Wei WuXian; continuing on in cherishing those happy moments.

When he went on a night hunt with a party of disciples, followed by a case of dead cats, then running into Jin Ling; Lan SiZhui ran into Lan WangJi and, surprisingly, Mo XuanYu.

It was a strange sight to come upon; meeting the last line of the Mo Family whom they failed to keep safe, traveling with Lan WangJi. Lan SiZhui couldn't help feeling a bit resentful at Young Master Mo who suddenly took the place at his father's side. At the same time, he felt some kind of familiarity for no fathomable reason.

In his heart, he wished for his mother instead by their side.

The disciples and Jin Ling were muttering amongst themselves, after seeing Lan WangJi return ("When did he leave the inn?") with a tied up Mo XuanYu. What the topic was, was the fact the object that was used to tie Mo XuanYu is, in fact, the GusuLan Clan's headband. The one that only the most beloved person of the owner can tie it to their respected other, and eternal cultivation partner.

"Why would he do such a thing? Tying it around that cut-sleeve?" Jin Ling wondered when he has explained the significance of their ribbon.

Lan SiZhui wondered as well. His father held no other interest in other people, yet he suddenly had an interest in Young Master Mo. From what he understood, Lan WangJi had never met Mo XuanYu since the Da Fan Mountain incident. 'So why?'

Curious, he snuck away from the small party of the inn's dining area to see Lan WangJi and Mo XuanYu.

Once he was upon their door, he raised his hand to knock when he heard the sound of a flute coming from within. It wasn't the horrible sound that Mo XuanYu had produced on the Da Fan Mountain, but the sound of an expert. The music was 'Rest' he realized, but it pulled his heart in many different ways as he listened to the song.

The reason is that this 'Rest' was a bit different from when Lan XiChen plays it. It was one he was familiar with. One that he hoped to hear again when he has those memories swaying his dreams.

Silently, tears fell from his face as he stared wide eyes at the door; as if expecting to see the man behind them, just like in his dreams.

In his heart, it gave closure as to why his memories as a child have returned.

Rumors of the YiLing Patriarch likely resurrection has always wondered in everyone's minds, even all these years. Lan SiZhui had never minded those rumors; however, that was before his memories returned.

After their return, he wished for the rumors to be true and prayed to the heavens to allow his selfish wish.

And it was answered.

'Mama is here! Mama is back home!'

As much as the young disciple wanted to go in and hug the revived his mother, he held himself back. He will wait. He will wait like his father had, and wait for the right time to approach. Right now, he will go to his room and sleep, and dream of the future that will hold.

For the first time, Wen Yuan... now Lan SiZhui... smiled at his fullest to know his family is whole.

(Many months later)

"A-Yuan! Time to go home!" a yell from the distance on the hill echoed towards him as he bid his eternal friend and brother at heart a goodbye and wishes of good luck in leading his clan.

Rushing across the paths, he looked up the two figures ahead. One a black-robed man, sitting atop a donkey and the other, a white-robed man holding the reins; both waiting for him atop the hill, although not quietly.

Lan SiZhui smiled as he approached the two.

"Mama, father! I am ready to leave now!" he exclaimed happily.

Lan WangJi nodded.

Wei WuXian sputtered, whining, "A-Yuan! I told you already to not call me 'Mama'! At least, call me papa!"

"Mama is mama!" he said happily, completely ignoring the request.

The YiLing Patriarch turned to his husband, "Lan Zhan! Our son isn't listening to me!"

"Hmm... Call Wei Ying 'mother' instead, A-Yuan," Lan Wangji lectured, though there was a small smile upon his lips.

"Yes!" was the immediate reply, bright smile growing on his face.

"Oi~! Now both of you are teasing me!" Wei WuXian cried out.

Two laughed, while one pouted, however, it is one family broken, reforged, and emerged anew.

For those that have never seen, heard or read "The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation" I apologize that you guys are lost and have no idea what is going on. I provided a link to the 'Exiled Rebels Scanlations' group. They have the ongoing translations of the novel.

As for the series, please just look it up. I heard the first season is almost over. I am awaiting the second season as I await for the last few episodes.

I really don't know how I got hooked on it anymore, because the next thing I knew, I was searching for all the fanfics; pinning all fanart and official art; watching youtube videos and episodes...

I have a problem. Oh well...

Love you guys! Ciao!


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